We bought a pig with three friends and the things we cannot cook apart, we are cooking together. This weekend, with the permission of an absentee participant, we are cooking one of the hams.

Now, mind you, when I say ham, I mean a giant slab of pig's ass that I can hardly lift. I had to buy a special roasting pan for it. And there is another one.

Part one: Safely defrost the ham. From the USDA:
 

"Safe Defrosting
There are three safe ways to defrost pork: in the refrigerator, in cold water (in an airtight or leak-proof bag) and in the microwave. Never defrost on the counter or in other locations.

It's best to plan ahead for slow, safe thawing in the refrigerator. After defrosting raw pork by this method, it will be safe in the refrigerator 3 to 5 days before cooking. During this time, if you decide not to use the pork, you can safely refreeze it without cooking it first.

When microwave-defrosting pork, plan to cook it immediately after thawing because some areas of the food may become warm and begin to cook during microwaving. Holding partially cooked food is not recommended because any bacteria present wouldn't have been destroyed. Foods defrosted in the microwave or by the cold water method should be cooked before refreezing because they potentially may have been held at temperatures above 40 °F.

It is safe to cook frozen pork in the oven, on the stove or grill without defrosting it first; the cooking time may be about 50% longer. Use a meat thermometer to check for doneness. Do not cook frozen pork in a slow cooker."

Ok, Ok, You all know that I mistrust government sources, but I thought I would cite the USDA on this one for kicks. You can find safe handling instructions all over the internet and they are pretty much the same, except that the USDA tends to want us to heat things about 10 degrees hotter than everyone else.

Our ham, after 4 days in the fridge was still a solid block of ice, so we used the kitchen sink/cold water method to finish the defrost process.